Wow...what a ride it's been lately.
I recently had a marble-sized mass removed (excised - what a yucky word!) from my left breast. Turns out it was a Cellular Adenoma which is fancy talk for benign lump of cells. It's not (and doesn't become) cancer and I am thankful for that. Even though this mass was removed completely, it can come back. In the same spot or a different spot. Lovely. I do not have much to work with here, folks. I cannot afford to be cutting the stuff out one marble at a time! I also just can't afford it. Financially speaking.
All this breast craziness started in February when I went in for my first mammogram. I was so nervous because I've always heard how torturous they are, but I was pleasantly surprised. No discomfort. Awkward, yes. Painful, no way. They explained that I may get a call back for a second mammo or an ultrasound since it was my first, and they had to determine what is "normal for you." Fine. Sounds great.
Next day - I get a call from my doctor. Hey, they found a spot, no worries, this is normal, yada, yada, yada. They just need to determine what's "normal for you." I kept hearing that same phrase over the next several days.
I go in for the ultrasound (alone - but barely; had to convince the husband that this was perfectly nothing), and I was fine until everyone kept acting sad towards me. Did they know something I didn't? Helloooo, people! This is perfectly normal, remember? No big deal, remember? Why are you handing me tissues?
The doctor comes in to do the ultrasound and it takes about 2 minutes for him to decide that its definitely not a cyst. "So what we're gonna do is take a needle and---" Huh? Asphinctersayswhat? No, no, wait! You just said "needle" in reference to my left boob. Not cool. When I did one of those Chester Cheetah shake your head things and started listening to him again, I realized he wanted to do a needle biopsy. Hey, it's very likely nothing, no worries, this is very common, yada, yada, yada. We just have to prove its nothing.
Two days later I'm back (with husband in tow). Again with the sad looks. Today the doctor is going to stab me with what looks like a small ice pick and take some tissue samples. Then he is going to put in a fancy little "clip" to mark the spot of this unwanted treasure. Just in case they have to go back and cut it out. Just what every girl wants to hear!
The procedure wasn't so bad. Uncomfortable. Could have used some medical grade marijuana, probably. Okay, I have no idea what that would do but I would probably NOT have turned it down at that point. I'm just saying. I go home and wait. And try to be normal with my kids.
***At this time I would like to point out that I learned something major about myself during this ordeal. If I were to become ill I am not like those people who wake up and decide to fight and beat the disease. I am not strong like that. I would crawl into my bed and hide and cry and feel sorry for myself forever. For my very short forever because I would only want to eat brownies in bed and possibly re-read The Thorn Birds.***
The doctor calls. I will need an excisional biopsy. This means meeting with a breast surgeon and although I always wanted to it was for entirely different reasons. The following Monday I meet her and she's amazing. Lovely woman. We go through the motions of whether or not I'm going to have this unwanted guest taken out of my body (the clip marks the spot!), all the while both of us knowing that this sucker is coming out.
Two days later (are you starting to understand why this was so hectic??) and I'm having "minor" surgery. The night before I had to talk to my children about it. My girl had already asked if I was sick because I'd had so many doctor appointments so I decided that I should let them know. Besides, any time general anesthesia is involved you just never know...and I wanted to make sure they heard this scary stuff from me and had time to come up with and ask any questions. They heard nothing from me. I froze and started to cry. (see the asterisks above) Fortunately my husband is incredible and explained it to them beautifully and they were informed and comforted before they had time to panic.
The surgery went very well. The mass was larger than they thought so she had to take more (because I have so much to begin with, this is no big deal. NOT.) than they'd initially planned but she got it all and we should hear back within 3-5 days. This was Wednesday. I got a call from the surgeon on Friday letting me know it was NOT the phyllodes tumor we feared. Praise the Lord! For good news and good doctors who share information with you as soon as they get it.
Exhale. Cry some more.
I know this is so minor for most people. My big scare is nothing compared to what other people face daily. But it was my scare and it was, to me, scary.
After my follow up visit yesterday I have learned that it is (for now, anyway) over. We'll see when I go for my next mammogram on the first of NEVER. Not really. I'm going back in February and I'm sure everything will be great. Now that we know what's "normal" for me. ;)
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