To the boy who (allegedly) called my daughter "disgusting"...

To the boy who (allegedly) called my daughter "disgusting": 

I have 2 words for you: Thank You.  

Say what??

Yep,  that's right.  Thank you.  Thank you for giving me an opportunity to comfort my child when she told me what a friend said about her, a look of uncertainty on her beautiful face, wondering what I would say in response.  I can't describe it...this look of such self-doubt and pain, as if to ask,"Could it be true?"   This is not the first time I've seen this look of heartbreak on her face, but it is the first time it's been over a boy - or what one thought of her.  I am sure that the first time must be the most painful.  My first reaction was to tell her that she was, of course, not disgusting.  That it was so not true that the mere suggestion was laughable.  Maybe he's not a very smart boy?? Surely he meant "enchanting", right?  I mean, hello!  This is my daughter, not the Elephant Man!  I wanted to hunt you down and tell you why you were wrong to even hint at such a thing.  There are so many things I could tell you (or yell and scream at you) about how wonderful she is.  How she always thinks of others before herself and she always tries to make sure no one feels left out.  Oh, she's certainly not perfect, but she is loving and smart and really funny and so, so beautiful - those big bluish-greenish eyes melt my heart.  And when I saw them filled with tears just trying to spill over her beautiful, long eyelashes I felt my heart shatter for her.  I was so angry with you for putting that look on her face.  Say that about ME, but never her.  It is my job to shield her and protect her from such hurt - but I have failed this time and oh how I wish I could go back and stop this pain from happening.  I would fly backwards around the planet and make time go backwards and stop that lousy "friend" from spilling the ugly gossip.  Or maybe go one more lap and make you trip on your way to class and bite your tongue so you couldn't even spew such mean things.  I realize she will have to experience the hurts of life and learn from them.  But I don't have to like it.  And I don't have to like you.

I've been trying to give you the benefit of the doubt, but it's hard.  I don't really have that luxury where my children are concerned.  I have to always be on the lookout for what might try to jump out and harm them.  I want to shield them from hurt.  I am the one who tries to soothe them when mean people happen.  And as much as I might try to convince myself that you couldn't have really said that or if you did say it, surely you didn't mean it to sound as ugly as it did, I'm feeling more and more certain that you did say it with no regard to how it might make her feel.  And whether or not you thought she'd find out, what a sad sign of what's in your heart.  Someone needs to wrap you in a hug and tell you the world is not so full of hate.  Love and kindness are still the best way to go.  I hope that you will learn that words hurt.  I hope that you don't have to learn it the same way my daughter has. 


Last night, when I was relaying this "terrible, awful" to my husband, trying not to cry on her behalf because the last thing any of us needs is my husband trying to hunt down an insignificant little boy (yes, YOU), something occurred to me (read: God smacked me in the forehead with it) and I am so thankful for this revelation:

In her lifetime she is going to hear "no" a lot.  This is because God has someone so perfectly specific in mind for her that he doesn't want her to get sidetracked by anybody He hasn't chosen for her.  You see, my daughter is precious in my sight but even more precious in His.  She is the daughter of the King.  THE King.  That makes her a princess and only a perfectly hand-picked prince will do.  No mere peasant will do for this princess. 

I often worry that I have prayed for protection so hard and for so long over all my children that they won't ever get to experience life (and those horrible life lessons that come with it).  You know like when Dory told Marlin that he couldn't not let anything happen to Nemo "because then nothing would ever happen" to him? But then days like yesterday happen and I just pray harder.  Your ugly words are no match for God's love.  I will love her and remind her that darkness always runs from light.  I will encourage her to keep her light shining because that is just the kind of girl she is.  

For now I can still take her in my arms and hold her until we both stop crying, and I pray that she will always come to me when someone tries to knock her down.  We will hug it out together.
So back to you - the guy with the mean words: thank you for showing your true self now while she's still young enough to let me hug the pain away.  Yes, it hurt both of our hearts to hear such ugly words come out of the mouth of a "friend".  It also hurt to hear that another "friend" took it upon herself to relay this hurtful message.  (You managed to sneak a lesson in true friendship in there, too. Go, you!) She's much better today, thanks to the above-mentioned hugs and revelation (I got to tell her first thing this morning).  It's been wonderful to be reminded of just what God has in store for her. And I am so blessed to be the one who was able to deliver this reminder of God's perfect love for her.  

So again, thanks.